How to Choose the Right Goals for You

It’s no coincidence that the new year inspires us to set fresh goals for the year ahead – Quarter 1 is just starting, Capricorn season spurs us on & days are lengthening again in the Northern hemisphere. The hype has caught on for a good reason ;)

Popular culture + societal expectations have a ready-made list of improvements for us: health, wealth & love, in a spectrum of “right” ways. It’s very easy to let ourselves be swayed by the trends & then struggle to keep our new habit or to reach our goal because there’s friction / resistance – the way to achieve it wasn’t right for us.

So how can we know the difference between our soul’s path & external influence? After all, we live in this world & we’re influenced by new ideas.

Know yourself

Stay with me – I know I’m stating the obvious here but this is exactly why we neglect this crucial step. Spend some time exploring the details of why you want to reach a certain goal. For example, do you want washboard abs to look sexy (external reason) or to feel powerful when you’re swimming out to surf (internal reason)? External incentives will always feel misaligned & require more willpower from you, whereas internal incentives will motivate you + pull you forward.

So, get very granular about why you’re going after a certain goal & if you discover that your reason is more external, remember that there is always more than one way to accomplish something. In the example above, if what you really want is feeling sexy, instead of doing sit ups every morning, you could take a class on strip teasing, create the perfect sensual playlist, buy a new piece of lingerie, ask for words of affirmation from your partner, schedule a regular date night, etc. What would turn you on & be exciting to pursue?

If you’re struggling to keep your new habit or to make progress towards your goal, talking about it with a good friend or a coach / mentor can help you find the clarity you seek & either remind you of your intrinsic reasons or to adjust how you’ll accomplish your goal by changing your approach.

Set your priorities

If you’re like me, there’s several areas in your life that you’re ready to grow into. I’m endlessly curious + love the high of accomplishment. However, just like possessions, some of my goals are more important to my values than others & I can’t adopt more than 2 new habits at a time, so I need to prioritize.

Sometimes, I’ll find satisfaction before reaching a milestone & it’s okay to let that goal go or be content to not pursue it further. For example, if your goal is to make $1M in revenue but you realize that you prefer running a $500K business, you don’t need to strive all the way to tick that box off. You landed among the stars as you were shooting for the moon ✨

Research options

As mentioned above, there are so many ways to reach your goal. If you’re inexperienced, research your options. For example, there are countless coaching trainings, business programs, funnel blueprints, social media courses – sign up to their newsletters, listen to their podcasts & read reviews before making a decision.

Keep it top of mind

If mid-year, you’re tempted to start something new (or whichever middle timeline you set), wonder if this is out of boredom (you forgot you were going after your goal), avoidance (potentially achieving your goal is triggering you) or genuine opportunity (it’s complementary / aligned with your goal). You thought about your life & you set this goal for a reason, what changed? I like to schedule my goals into my week, whether it’s going for a run or doing my bookkeeping. Sometimes I skip one, but it’s rare & it puts me + my business on equal footing with my client work & other responsibilities. It’s important not to do it with a sense of obligation but rather in the spirit of giving this time to ourselves + our dreams.

Start small

I find it extremely helpful to think of my goals as a journey of becoming. I want to generate $10K/month? Let’s aim to do this consistently by the end of the year, no need to pressure myself into figuring this out in January (unless it’s not a big stretch). I want to run 3x/week? Let’s put on my running shoes + jog to the street corner 3x/week, & then build distance or duration from there. There are “satellite” habits that’ll shift as you change to become the person who reaches her goal, thus you’ll discover that your goal is bigger than you realized.

Find meaning

If reaching your goal proves to be much harder than expected, it may be because it’s misaligned with your strengths (aka there’s an easier way) OR this is an ambitious but meaningful challenge & just just need to persevere. Some struggles are satisfying – we make some progress (show up, advance, 1% improvement) & it feels rewarding. If that’s the case, you know you’re on the right path! If it’s just very frustrating, check your mindset before you adjust your goal – do you have a story that someone like you just can’t do this or do you feel like a fish out of water? If your mindset is holding you back, don’t bypass your fear – hold it gently in your heart but keep going, albeit slowly.

Make space for the unexpected

Life happens & we’ll have to change course. If the goal you set isn’t a priority anymore, you may feel some level of grief. Honor that & be willing to adjust. If a better opportunity arises & you want to deprioritize a goal, make sure to be clear about your motivation & research your options before signing up to that new course or hiring that new team member.

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Now I want to know:

Which did you set new goals for 2024? How are they aligned with your soul?
Let me know in the comments below!

Marie xo