Some days are definitely better than others. What's a spiritual seeker to do when anger wells up inside, mean + aggressive thoughts are roaming her mind, & she's basically a mess? (Can you relate?)
The thing to do is to dissolve and transmute anger into peace. The quietness of peace will allow for joy to rise up again & find your energy back – dare I say your purpose too? Yes, of course.
Here's how I do it:
- Stop & notice the state I am in. If I'm in the middle of an argument, I take the time to breathe five deep inhales and exhales. I pay attention to how I'm feeling physically: my heart beat, any discomforts, is my face hot, are my hands shaking? Take inventory.
- Get it out! Emotion lives in your body, so walk it, punch it, dance it or clean it out. Get out of your mind and into your body. Do something that will expel your anger, release the tension, let off some steam & cool you down.
- Nurture yourself. After any kind of purge – emotional, like this one, or physical – take the time to re-appropriate your energy. Stay introverted for a little while to counterbalance what just happened. Appreciate this moment of openness + emptiness. This is how you get to know your soul on a deeper level. Do something you enjoy quietly. Pretty soon, life will be bustling again.
- Apologize & forgive. Seal the moment by apologizing where it is due & forgiving yourself + the other for the parts you played. Now it's okay to send love again, to leave the argument behind you, & heal your relationship. There is mending to be done probably so welcome any marks of affections coming your way & don't be shy to also give them. It is safe now.
- Take a distance from the initial situation but finish it. Once everyone is cooled off & feels better, express with compassion your point of view. I will probably feel less important to be right and more important to truly communicate, whatever the outcome. You cannot change others, but you can change how you respond to them.
This is how it unfolds for me when I'm angry. Sometimes, it varies a bit according to what my relationship is with the person I'm angry at.
How do you deal with anger in your life? How do you get back to yourself? Please share your tips in the comments, we could all use more peace in our lives.